A friend used to love to compile the crime report from our college days. Here's a current one that is worth a look from Hoover, AL:
"Saul Luciano, 36, and Juan Becedra, 28, both of Hoover reported they were walking in a breezeway at Mountain View Apartments in Hoover about 9 p.m. Wednesday when two men with pistols forced them to the ground and told them to empty their pockets. The gunmen got $250, a key and lip balm from Luciano." (emphasis mine)
Times are hard in Birmingham, especially to find good lip balm.